DADT My Gay Partner That I Am Married

Last month over 80 Members of Congress visited Israel … displaying great resolve that it is better to travel with “your own kind” than in bi-partisan groups as Steny Hoyer (D-MD-05) led the Democrats while the Republicans were divided into two groups lead by Kevin McCarthy (R-CA-25) and Eric Cantor (R-VA-08).

Is it any wonder that the political parties are at odds when even the paying hosts — America-Israel Education Foundation, an affiliate of the America Israel Public Affairs Committee (AIPAC) — recognizes that it is better to keep them separate.

It shouldn’t be that way … now, it does not have to be a Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell situation that a Democrat traveled with a Republican or vice versa … alas, Don’t Worry, it won’t happen as long as the mindset is My Way or No Way.

What was discussed during the Congressional “fact finding missions” to Israel was selectively disclosed ( i.e. Erik Paulsen (R-MN-03) writings ), yet could there have been any discussion of Areleh Harel, an Orthodox rabbi from the West Bank, and his successful efforts to “marry” 13 gay-lesbian couples ?

Could Members of Congress have been “fact-finding” DADT marriage ?

What if homosexual males were just “matched” up with lesbians for marriage ? Especially when the goal is for a same-sex couple to adopt a child … why not resolve the situation through “marriage” ?

As TIME reported in August,

Rabbi Harel plans to unveil an online matchmaking service for Orthodox gay people. “This is the best solution we can offer people who want to live within the halacha [Jewish law],” Harel says. “This may not be a perfect solution, but it’s kind of a solution.”

Advocates say that if rabbis in the Holy Land become more accepting of gay people, that tolerance will reverberate outward into Orthodox communities throughout the world, which often take their cues from Israel.

But other religious gays say it’s an unhealthy way to live. “I am not the one to judge, but if you ask me what a family is, it’s about caring, loving and sharing,” says Daniel Jonas, a gay Orthodox man who lives in Jerusalem and is the spokesman for an Orthodox-gay organization called Havruta. “This kind of technical relationship, it is not based on love, and I do believe that if the parents don’t love each other, the kids will feel it. It’s not healthy for the kids or for their parents to live like this.

Harel says he raises the question of infidelity when he’s making a match and tells couples they should be clear on what they want. “If he will go with another man, it’s his business. If she wants to go with another woman, that’s her business. It’s up to each couple,” Harel says. “I don’t accept it from the point of view of the Jewish law. But it’s not my business.”

As a backdrop to this discussion, consider the 2012 ballot question :

An amendment to the Minnesota Constitution is proposed to the people. If the amendment is adopted, a section shall be added to article XIII, to read:
Sec. 13. Only a union of one man and one woman shall be valid or recognized as a marriage in Minnesota.

Today, adoption by gays and lesbians are permissible in Minnesota, but would a future Minnesota legislature consider the “common-sense premise” that children will do best with a mother and father in the home … thus the only solution would be a DADT “marriage” ?

Same-sex parenting is not a new issue … just last year, held a hearing on the subject … this time advocating FOR same-sex marriage : Legislative Hearing

Among the arguments made by same-sex marriage proponents are economic costs, such as lower health and life insurance; highly talented people won’t want to work in the state because they would be giving up a basic civil right; and the happiness they have for one another.

Families like ours are not going anywhere,” said Chris Dolan of St. Paul. He and his partner, Ryan, were married in Toronto. A mother giving up her daughter for adoption has since picked them from more than 70 other families.

She told us the best example in her life of a healthy relationship was a gay relative and his partner. She told us that we reminded her of them, and thought we were best able to raise Olivia and give her the love and care she deserved,” he said.

There will be a lot written between now and November 6, 2012, and I hope that some consider Olivia Dolan and her parents … our state does not need sham marriages … after all, under Minnesota law, a person who wants to challenge an adoption may do so within 90 days of the final decree, thus it would not be unimaginable that if word got out that a same-sex couple had recently started to raise a child that some “group of concerned citizens” would seek out the birth mother to encourage her to challenge the adoption … yet, if their was a sham marriage, they may not realize it had occurred.